So it's been a while but I do have a reason for that. Before I explain I thought I would show you guys what I've been up to. On the 11th December I went to London with my college. To be honest I really really didn't want to go. I didn't know anybody, I had a really bad cold and all this stress just made my anxiety worse.
Luckily I quickly made friends with a girl called Ella and she helped me out. On the first day we went to the Warner Bros Studios which was amazing! I've never really been a massive Harry Potter nerd but it was so fascinating to see the behind the scenes of the films.
And then at night we went to watch Frozen and I have to say that it is one of my favourite films so far and I just had to go and watch it again!
The next day we went to the 02 arena Music Experience and it wasn't the best but there was a great dancing game there! It was also awesome to see the inside of the 02 and realise just how big it actually is!
Then in the afternoon we went to BBC Studios and saw where the News is filmed and took a tour of the building. We also got a cheeky glance of The Hairy Bikers and Nick Knowles too! Then at night we went to Hyde Park Christmas Markets and they were spectacular!
You can never beat strawberries covered in chocolate!
And then the day after we had free time before we came home so me and Ella went shopping on Oxford Street which was exciting! I did have a good time but my anxiety and cold ruined it a bit so I was just glad to be sleeping in my own bed.
So I just thought that this was an ordinary cold, blocked nose and all that but it turned worse. My sinuses in my cheeks started to hurt and the pain became unbearable but I had to carry on in college. Then in the last week of college I started to get a really bad pain just under my chest. I thought it was indigestion at first but then I realised it didn't feel like it. It started to hurt a lot, and I couldn't concentrate properly in college. But it was my last week so I troopered through. Then on the Saturday I was sick, and if you know me, I'm never ever sick. I hate it and it's one of my many reasons of my anxiety so that didn't help me at all. So I spent the next couple of days in bed, still dealing with this chest pain too. Luckily I felt a bit better over Christmas Eve and Christmas day but I could still feel the pain under my chest. It usually got worse after I ate so I've been trying to eat less, but I do love my food.
On the day after boxing day I told my mum that my shoulder had starting hurting somewhat too, along with my belly so she took me to the doctor's and he checked everything for me and said there was nothing to worry about. He gave me some tablets to clear my stomach and so I started taking them.
That evening I went to my relatives for a family buffet and I was having fun playing games with my cousins when I felt a sharp shooting pain straight up my arm and mainly in my shoulder, and if you know me then you'll know that I panic, so it really freaked me and I started worrying about what it could be. So I did what I have been doing the past few days to try and get comfortable so that it will go away when my stomach and chest started hurting too. My mum made me lie down and she looked after me so well. Luckily my Aunty who was there is a doctor so she helped me out somewhat but she still had no idea what was wrong with me. The fact that I'd had this pain for over a week now was really getting to me because I just wanted it to go away. No position and way I lay relieved me and I was getting fed up and upset way too quickly. I couldn't move either. Moving any of my arms hurt my shoulders, moving my body hurt my belly and even breathing hurt my chest. Let's just say I was an emotional wreck.
And that's been pretty much it for the last couple of days. I haven't left my bed, unless my mum has helped me get up. I haven't slept that well either because of the pain but I slept through most of the day. I feel like I've wasted all of my days instead of being with my friends and family but there is nothing I can do about it if I can't physically move. My friends and family have also noticed a change in me that I want back to normal. I'm noticeably paler, and thinner ( I've lost just under a stone in a month of being ill which I didn't have to spare anyways) and to be honest I just look unhealthy. I don't think I'm being myself either which I need to change back because I hate feeling so low and ill. I can't wait to get back to my normal self!
Luckily for me it is getting that bit easier. We're on the idea at the minute that it is something to do with digestion so I've been cramming in pieces of toast, crackers, rice and chicken. It's not the nicest and most delicious choice of food but it will have to do if it's getting me better.
So that is my excuse for no blogs and videos and even if you say I could've done those things in bed, I literally did not want to do anything. I just wanted to lie there and sleep. And I know that it's been the worse possible time to be ill but at least I've been able to stay at home and sort this out properly.
And I'd just like to give a huge shoutout to my mum! :) She's looked after me so much, even slept in my bed when I couldn't move in case I wanted to sit up. She's the one that's kept me sane, and laughing because without her and my family I would've been so lonely and I would've thought up loads of negative things in my head. She's also gotten me everything I wanted, and kept me comfortable, even helping me change and brush my hair which I didn't think I'd need help with at 17 but things happen I guess.
Hopefully I'll be up and running as soon as possible, I'm excited to eat all my Christmas goodies that we've bought that I haven't been able to munch on yet. I'm also excited with new video ideas and blog posts that will be up soon too :)
Sorry for the long winded description of my illness, not really great to write about but I didn't want to come up with the lame excuse that I was just 'ill' but I hope everyone had an amazing Christmas and got what they wanted! Hopefully I'll do a small post of the some of the things I got for Christmas too :)
( Also if any of this illness sounds familiar to anyone who might know what it is then let me know, you might just be helping me out :))
Stay Happy
Sarah
