My Mad Anxiety Diary #2

So it's been ages! I had a break from my blog when I was away but I'm struggling to get back into it. I'm having pretty bad writers block and trying to find the time to write is difficult. But I'm determined not to give up on this blog because I love writing so much!

Anyways I haven't actually written anything about my holiday.

To be honest it was one of the best experiences of my life but some parts were the worst. If you've read my previous MMAD then you'll know that I was very nervous about going to Zante, on a holiday without my parents for the first time. 

The nerves seemed to get worse and worse, and they got pretty bad when the plane was delayed. I just wanted to get on it and be there, as I don't like flying too much. I had a bit of a panic as they called our gate but I dealt with it, being organised and my friends made sure to distract me. Once I got on the flight I was perfectly fine, in fact the flight was great! 

It was night time when we landed and we all grabbed our bags immediately on got to our hotel. There we were met by our reps where we booked a few events. And I know this is going to sound stupid but I didn't realise how much drinking was going to be involved. I know I should've thought of that but every single event was like a competition to see who could get the most out of it, which didn't appeal to me. I booked the events anyway because I wanted to spend the nights with my friends, and I wouldn't have to drink if I didn't want to.

For the first couple of days I wasn't well at all. I obviously didn't get much sleep so also with the heat I felt like I couldn't eat anything. But I knew I had to or else I would feel worse. I spent quite a lot of time in my room, out of the sun whilst everyone else just went by the pool. I went through lots of ups and downs, and lots of calls to my mum, because I knew I felt this bad because of my anxiety. So I was taught to just go through with it and deal with it because in the end it does make you feel better. I tried eating as much as I could and distract myself until the feeling passed. And it did by night time so I could go out then.

But one night I didn't feel better so I decided to have the night off and stay in the hotel just relaxing. Before midnight some of my friends came back with one of them hardly able to walk. so they asked me to look after her so I said yes but she was being sick. And that is one of my biggest fears, strange as it is. So I could feel my anxiety rising because I didn't know what to do with her, but luckily she just passed out.

I dealt with it though which I'm proud of even though I didn't get much sleep that night.

Soon enough I got used to the heat, started to eat more so then I really started to enjoy myself. There were still times when my anxiety raised but I just powered through because I was having such a good time. 

Thinking back to it now I still can't believe I got through a whole week that was completely out of my comfort zone. I'd never been in a situation like that before but I think taking my anxiety into account that I dealt with it the best I could. I have all my friends to thank for that, who helped me when they could and never left me alone when I felt anxious. Without them I definitely couldn't have lasted the whole week. Also a huge thanks to my mum who was always on the other end of the phone whenever I needed her. She knows just the right things to say to me.

I also never thought I'd say it, but I actually miss the place and would love to go back! I made some amazing memories and met some awesome people that I'll never forget.
I also created a little montage of a few videos I'd taken so check it out!!
Zante 2014!!

Zante 2014 was an amazing experience and I feel that I've grown so much now, learning how to deal with my anxiety more. I feel stronger and more capable of things I wouldn't have done a year ago.

Overall I'm just glad I did go through with the holiday because it's made me a better person!

Thanks for reading,

Stay Happy

Sarah

My Mad Anxiety Diary

I wanted to make this series because I want my blog to be somewhere I can write about what happens in my life. Even the bad bits that I don't tell anyone else. 

If you didn't know already I do suffer from anxiety but I don't think a lot of people know that about me. My family and closest friends do but I don't go around telling people, I usually try my best to hide it as I don't want people to think I'm being stupid or attention seeking so I deal with it myself. And this isn't me 'bragging' about my anxiety to get attention, I just want this blog to be a place that I can show how I'm feeling about my anxiety and hopefully help other people that suffer through it too. I have had CBT to help my anxiety and I want to show people how I deal with it, hopefully to help them deal with theirs. 

Anxiety isn't a nice thing to have but I've learnt that you can't let it stop you from doing things in your life and you can do anything if you can learn to deal with it properly. 

I won't go into my anxiety properly in this post but I usually feel anxious about being sick, mostly in public. It's a strange anxiety but I still feel panicky about it a lot of the time. 

Anyways I wanted to start this diary today because tomorrow I go on my first holiday abroad without my parents. I know you're probably thinking for someone who doesn't drink and gets anxious in nightclubs, why is she going to Zante? But I just didn't want to miss out on anything because of my anxiety so I booked a ticket. 

I wanted my blog to be somewhere I can post my worries whilst I'm away and how I deal with them because I think it's better to be able to write about it and get it off my chest. 

So here is the first post of My Mad Anxiety Diary and hopefully I'll be able to write how each day goes. In the future I also want to be able to show people how I've been taught to deal with my anxiety so that I can help others who are in my situation and suffer from anxiety. 

I just know that you can't let it control your life. You only get one of them and everyday is important to live so if you feel like it does control your life, go and get some help because it's helped me a lot this year. 

So thanks for reading and if you do know anyone that suffers from anxiety be sure to let them know about this new series I'm doing and it might help them. Or if you do suffer from anxiety yourselves give them a read too. 

Stay happy!

Sarah